Bluesky and Community – Keeping The Social Skies Clear

 
The Chains of The Past

People who have not been in “social media” for more than 30 years often think that anti-social behavior online is relatively new, sparked by /some event/. This is simply not true.

In 2011 I wrote about problem users on social media. I had already been a community manager for 20 years at that point. In OnlineCommunities 103: Problem Users and the Problems They Cause, I explicitly discuss how certain behaviors are common, regardless of the platform.

Social media is…people. People behave in certain ways. Look back to broadsheets in the 18^th century, you see the same kind of pundits railing against social progress and being dismissive and insulting as you do now in the opinion sections of major media outlets. Human nature does not change, only the technology does.

For Bluesky, specifically, this means that many users are coming to the platform from X. Even before it became X, Twitter had always been a bit of a problem child. In 2008 when I joined, it was a curiosity, an IRC channel grown up to be a website. It was messy. It confused people who were not used to asynchronous chat. The majority of users were people like myself – curious about new platforms and their potential for communication, community and, inevitably, marketing.

Changes in moderation and management came with increasing user numbers.  Moderation got better, then worse, then better, then much worse. By the time Twitter devolved into X, it had become the technological equivalent of a hissy fit with flailing arms. People used to the behaviors that were normal on X – sarcastic, bad faith rebuttals, mean-spirited insults, veiled threats in top posts – sometimes find it hard to let go of that.

Because I began my career in online communities when we had no tools at all for moderation, not so much as ‘mute,’ I find it easy to simply ignore people whose unregulated behavior is unhealthy or unpleasant. This is a skill I have developed. Folks joining Bluesky from X, Meta and other platforms that don’t require respectful behavior, often drag their behaviors from platform to platform, like a set of increasingly heavy chains.

Bluesky is a relatively new platform. It has yet to be sold to advertisers or private equity. For many users, this is the first time they have joined a social platform at the beginning of it’s life cycle, when there is still a chance at equity, safety and delight as the platform grows.

The problem, however, is people. So how can Bluesky avoid some of the common lifecycle issues of other platforms?

 

Community Building Tools


Starter Packs:

I have been effusive in my praise of Starter Packs. These are curated lists of up to 150 accounts that can be themed however a user likes. Other users can follow all the accounts on a list with a single click. (You can search for Starter Packs to follow on this unofficial search: https://blueskydirectory.com/starter-packs/all)

Building communities is hard. I’ve written (on this very blog (!) in 2012 Creating an Amazing Social Network on Twitter WithoutSpamming the Universe, a step-by-step guide to how to build your community on a Twitter that did not yet have (and honestly, never has had,) a functioning curation algorithm. Starter Packs on Bluesky short-cut this process. Follow a source you respect, follow the people they respect – with one click. Or one account at a time…

 

Feeds:

…or not at all, with a Feed. When someone curates a Feed on Bluesky, you can scroll through posts that fit the Feed’s criteria without needing to follow any of the users. Of course you can follow from the feed or through an account directly, but Feeds allow you to see folks’ art and writing and news and commentary without having to also see their posts about topics you aren’t interested in.

Speaking of “topics you aren’t interested in,” let’s take a look at some of Bluesky’s useful moderation tools.

You can search for Feeds to follow directly on Bluesky: https://bsky.app/feeds

 

 

Moderation Tools

Moderation on Bluesky comes in several forms, several designed to help you curate your feed pre-emptively.

 
Muted Words & Tags

Ragebait relies on you having key words, concepts and topics that instantly set your blood pressure to overdrive.

For instance, you may dislike a topic – and by “dislike” I mean that you loathe it and wish it did not exist and would burn in fire. With Muted Words & Tags, you can cut down the likelihood that you will see that term (and any synonyms or related terms you add) in your feed. This is an imperfect solution. I cannot find all posts that imply the thing, use conceptual language about the thing, or do not mention the thing when they post pictures. If this seems complicated, it is. Human communication is very complicated. ^_^

As an example, let’s say you try to block something very common – cat pictures.
You can mute common words: cat, kitty, kitten in posts and tags. But if a person you follow posts cat pictures with text like “Look at this fine fellow” those will not be caught. You will see fewer cat pictures, but they will not be eliminated.

Block Lists

Block Lists are another imperfect solution, but can be very useful. Before you subscribe to a block list check the entries, so you know you are muting or blocking people you actually want to mute and block. Yes, this requires you to actually look at some unpleasant stuff for a moment of due diligence. I caution you on block lists because, predictably, bad faith actors are copying lists and regurgitating them in ways design to confuse.  How does that work? Let’s say you created a list of your favorite writers. I despise those writers, so I copy your feed and create a block list of them, encouraging people to not follow. Or I might create a block list of you and your friends and name it something bad, “Puppy kickers who suck,” to encourage people to pre-emptively block you. Why would I do that? Because, as we remember, people are the problem.

When you click on a Block List, you will see a link to “Subscribe” in the top right. If you click that, you’ll see a choice to Mute or Block everyone on the list.

Important Note: Blocked accounts are public on Bluesky. https://docs.bsky.app/blog/block-implementation.

Muting and Blocking Individual Accounts and Posts

Muting and blocking at an account level is easy as clicking an account as on any other platform and clicking the ellipsis on the top right.

Additionally, you can Mute a Thread or Mute Tags and Words in a thread or Hide Post for You – all of these by clicking the ellipsis at the bottom right of a post.

Said something you don’t want to deal with? You can Hide Reply for or Hide Reply For Everyone by clicking the bottom right ellipsis on your reply.

 

By selectively using all of these tools, you can curate your feed on Bluesky up front and as you follow people to create an experience that works for you. 

Reporting and Community Standards

In addition to the tools on Bluesky that help community-building and functional moderation that allow you to curate your feed,  we have Community Standards, that shape best pratices.

The main Community Standard on Bluesky is: Do Not Engage With Trolls. Full stop. Don’t reply, don’t screencap and top post  nasty stuff (we’ll get to that in a bit). Just mute, block, report and ignore. Starve trolls of air and attention.

After X, many people find it almost impossible to just not, because the culture there was based around mass harassment campaigns who decided that being blocked was a “win”.

Bluesky moderation is, at the time of writing, aggressive about blocking accounts that harass, or align themselves with groups that engage in bias and harassment. When you see a post or account that is harassing, disparaging, performing harassment regalia or symbols or any other passive form of aggressive bias, prejudice or hatred – click that ellipsis and Report Post or Report Account.

Earlier I said, "don’t screencap and top post nasty stuff." On X ragebait economics makes it profitable to find something anger-inducing, screencap it, then same something snarky or passively threatening and let hordes of followers mob some person. The behavior is sometime used by famously unpleasant folks to drive harassment campaigns of often completely innocent people. On Bluesky that behavior is not appropriate, obvious and should be reported immediately. But there is also another Community Standard: Do Not Subject Your Followers To Crap from X. We left there, please don't bring it with you.Don't dig up terrible people for us to be angry about. Bluesky is about building communities and keeping them safe - that includes your own followers!

Another important Community Standard on Bluesky is that the platform is Active Accessibility. This issue deserves a whole post of its own, you can start with Veroniiiica’s Post about BlueSky Accessibility Features For Low Vision. In account settings, there is an Accessibility tab on which you can Require Alt Text Before Posting to remind you to do so or Display Larger Alt Text Badges.  

The Community Standard on Blue Sky is to include Alt Text with images. Images that are added without alt text are often not shared by community members and may not be seen by some users. This was not decided as a policy, nor was there a decision by any one human or group. It is simply a generally agreed-upon community standard.  The Bluesky community has generally agreed that active accessibility accommodation is the right way to post on Bluesky.
 

Because Social Media is people, the problem with social media is also people. Lucky for us, the joy of social media is also people! Bluesky understands that and, at this moment in its lifecycle gives us tools and standards to help us build the communities we want and need. It's up to us to leave the chins of the past where they belong and take flight.


Find Erica on Bluesky at okazu.bsky.social

Monetizing Your Blog in 2015: Getting Ready for the New Year

"How Do I Monetize My Blog?"

We've all seen this question a million times. And the people who answer it seem so confident - these easy steps are all they ever needed to monetize their blog.  It seems so easy, but why isn't it working for you?

Today's post include four steps, but each of these steps are pretty big ones. We're not talking fairytales - if you want to make money in 2015 with your blog, you need to do some real work on it right now. So let's get started!

Giving Your Blog a Winter Tune-Up

When cold weather comes around, you tune-up your car, recaulk the windows. When the weather warms up, you take to the garden to prettify your yard. Seasonally, you do maintenance on your house and yard.....

...so how long has that blog looked exactly the same?

As time changes, technology changes, and expected levels of technology use changes, as well. Layouts that were great in 1998 are embarrassingly painful now. It's time to shake that blog out and give it a look-over. Great big embedded files aren't important, what's important is that your blog is lithe enough to be shared and commented on. No wants dancing hamsters any more. What you want and need are a core audience of engaged, passionate readers.

Ask yourself,  Is My Blog Sociable?

Every corporate site has sharing links, but there's nothing sociable about them. You can share company news for years and no one from the company will thank you, unless you have a massive readership. If you have sharing tools on your blog, can you track the shares, know what people are saying and where they are saying it? Monitor who you top sharers are and be able to thank them where they spread the word. Being sociable will build a strong brand and a strong bond with your readers. Reward them with your time and attention when they engage and they'll be back for more.


Have Realistic Expectations

Whether you're writing about a niche topic or trends in technology, your audience size will be the key factor in what you can reasonably expect from monetization. The demographics of your audience will also be key. 250 readers everyday is significant to you, but even if each one clicks on those ads and affiliate links, it's not going to add up to much. The halcyon years of affiliate income is long gone, as retailers and ad networks are squeezing down hard on rates.

Audience size and readership demographics will affect potential income - but it's your readers engagement that will ultimately decide whether you succeed.  If your posts get high engagement - more than just a like, but actual conversation, people ready and willing to engage with your content by sharing their thoughts about it, you'll have a better chance to successfully monetize.


Don't Be Afraid to Talk About It

The very personal relationship you build with your audience is the real draw for your blog. Unless you're working with a major magazine site, readers are reading your blog because of you - your stories, your perspective.

When you launch your monetization campaign,don't slide it in when no one's looking, don't be subtle - tell folks about it! If you've done everything right, your readers will jump at the chance to be part of the team, and make your blog an income-generator for you. They want you to succeed, so help them to help you. 

Get your blog tuned up, ramp up on being Sociable, and come back next time for some good options for monetizing your blog in 2015!

The Smallest of the Small, the Least of the Least: Three Online Quests for a $5 Amazon Gift Card

I've been blogging for 12 years. Like most mid-reach bloggers, I have monetized my blog in several ways: Affiliate links, ad networks, subscriptions and buying goods and services directly. Like most mid-reach bloggers, I'd better not quit my day job.

My affiliate links help pay for the materials I review. (I rarely accept review items, prefering to remain an independent voice in the field.) Amazon is, for better or worse, pretty decent to bloggers. Depending on how active I am in blogging, the level of relevance the materials I review are and how flush my readers are, I get a  trickle of Amazon commissions.

So when Bing started a new search campaign to get people to use their shiny, unused search engine by offering gift cards to things other than Xbox, I decided to see how long it would take me to get a $5 gift card to Amazon.

At about the same time, I suddenly started getting emails again from Empire Avenue (remember them?) They are still around and, as my account was never deleted, people are, apprently, still buying shares in my "stock". I have millions of their fake currency "Eaves", but I noticed that they've devalued Eaves and are now selling - for real money - Vees. With Vees, you can get real-world items like $5 gift cards!

So, I thought I'd compare these three systems and see which makes the best sense in terms of time and money to get $5 off on Amazon.

The quest: $5 Amazon Gift card on Bing

After a quarter century as an Information Professional, I am now a Gold-level searcher on Bing. Aren't you impressed? Probably not, and you really shouldn't be, because being "Gold: level on Bing doesn't mean you have searching skills, it means you have free time.

To join Bing's searching rewards program, you need to have a MSN account. Not a problem, I have several Hotmail addresses I still use. (Laugh if you will, I have multiple active addresses on Yahoo, Gmail, Hotmail, work mail and other services. I've been online for a long time.)

Every day, one gets a single point in reward for every 2 searches at Silver level and every 3 searches at Gold. This is a tad penurious on their part, but a quick run-through of the News, Weather, and a few pre-programmed "interest" searches and I have my points. A scratch-off game also gives me the opportunity to win more points but, like the searches, the rewards are parsimonious. 50 points is all I've won in a month of digital scratching. Bing suggests searches on things for extra points and contests to enter for an extra few points a day. An app to add in mobile searches increases your points, as well.

Commitment: Takes me about 10 minutes every morning, 15 if I play the scratch and win. There is no cost.

ROI: I have my gift card in a month at Silver level and 2.5 weeks at Gold. (Of course, doing this regularly mean you'll move up to Gold status, which also drops the "price" of the card from 525 credits to 475.  With increased ability to gain credits, and a lower price, a Gold level member could get a $5 Amazon Card just about every 2 weeks.

The quest: $5 Amazon Gift Certificate through Amazon Affiliate links

I blog anywhere from 4-7 days a week on my primary blog. Each blog post takes anywhere from 1-2 hours, depending on the content. 

Affiliate links work best when the item is 1) new and 2) affordable. A $250 premium item will get a lot of clicks, but few purchases, where a $10 just-released book will get more purchases. Obviously. As with Bing, the more purchases, the more the affiliate rate goes up, so a good month gets better disproportionately.

Affiliate payments are paid out more than a month later, and an affiliate has to hit a certain level of $/month before a payment will be made. If I'm posting more about online media, large-ticket or overseas items, I might not get a payout for a few months.  OTOH, a good month can be extremely good.  Pre-holiday and post-holiday months are usually significant, but they can't be counted on for consistency,

Commitment: Averaging 90 minutes a day, and waiting more than 30 days for that GC. 

ROI: When it's good, it's excellent, but for mid-reach bloggers who are not drawing in a salary's worth of readers, its neither consistent, nor always predictable.

The quest: $5 Amazon Gift card on Empire Avenue

You register an account and start to "purchase" "stocks" from people who think "Buy My Stock!" is a good promotion. They buy shares in you. You amass "Eaves" and quickly realize that if you are not active on EA at all, your stock will still go up if you do actual social media elsewhere. So you leave. "Eaves" have no worth, no value at all. It's strictly a score. You are worth XYZ score, your shares are sold at ABC score.

But Vees, well they have value. You can buy them for real money and cash them in for real things, like gift cards. And you can earn them, by completing "Missions" on the site.

1000 Vees cost $25, and it cost 650 Vees to get a $5 Amazon Gift Card. For the same $25 I can just get 5 $5 GCs, so this seems like a silly deal on the face of it. But what about earning Vees? I go over to the Mission tab and even when I filter only for Vee-earning missions, I see mostly Eaves. I complete a mission or two on every visit where Vees are to be earned (mostly in the form of clicking a link to visit someone's site.) The "missions" are valueless At least on Bing I'm reading today's headlines, checking the price of yen and the weather. On EA, I don't even have to look at the link I click, if the person creating the mission isn't sophisticated enough to require me to comment or share.

Commitment: 5 minutes a day, tops, clicking a button or two, but...

ROI: After about a month or so, I have amassed 231 of the required 650 Vees. And there are hardly any Vee-earning missions posted at any given time. I'll be doing this for a long time before I get $5 off on Amazon from Empire Avenue.

Triple Quest Conclusion

I'm not quitting blogging anytime soon, but I have to say, in my quest for this smallest, least of useful rewards, Bing wins. 

Is Your Business Truly "Social"?

by Rodney Noran

There is so much being said about Social Media and Social Media Platforms that it often seems that there's nothing left to be said. But for every viral social campaign there are hundreds of companies and individuals struggling with the reality of using Social to make a real impact on their business.

There are two questions you can ask yourself to understand if your business is truly Social:

What do you want to accomplish?

If you want to sell more products and that's it, you want advertising, not Social.
If you want to run a sale, you want promotion, not Social
If you want to know what your competitors are doing, you want Business Intelligence.

If you want to talk with your consumers and get them to talk with one another - you want Social.


How are you going to measure it?

Having a Facebook page is not "Social Media." Getting Likes is not "Social Media." Facebook is a platform on which you can engage your audience and turn them into a market. Any platform - Pinterest, Google+, a corporate website, can do this.

ROI requires I. Invest Time and/or Money to have a base measurement. What is a "Like" worth? Probably not all that much if it goes no further. Knowing when a "Like" turns into a sale and getting your consumers from Point A to Point B is not just a critical sales skill, it's an important Key Performance Indicator for your Social Media Strategy. Your ROI should not be your strategy.

On Being Social

Even more importantly, your Social Strategy should be about getting your consumers to Point C - where they cheerfully promote your business for you and tell their network about your promotions. Point C should be your goal.  When you reach your goal, you'll know that your business is truly Social.

Creating a Sustainable Blog Subscription Model With Patreon

This year makes 12 years since I began a blog.

In the summer of 2002, the fans of the genre of animation and comics I was chronicling numbered in the dozens, perhaps hundreds. I began a blog, called Okazu, using a niche tool to discuss a niche form of entertainment.  It wasn't, I thought, going to have more than a few readers.

12 years later, it's been a heck of a ride. Okau gets about 2500 readers a day, I've published books, lectured around the world, interviewed stars in the field, written thousands of reviews, fielded tens of thousands of comments, met many amazing people and built a whole family of reviewers, readers and creators.

The one thing we've never managed is to create a sustainable business model. It's all well and fine being a completely unique information source on the Internet, it's an entirely different thing to maintain a consistent pace of content creation without selling out to advertisers and ad networks. To make matter worse, some of the content on the blog is adult in nature, because the creators, writers and readers are adults, but the ad networks are not. There is nothing explicit on our blog, but even a hint of skin on the cover of a review item was cause for alarm at most ad networks.

Affiliate links work great when you're selling weight loss products or have a readership of millions. Okazu makes use of affiliate links, of course, and they are a nice way to supplement the purchases of the items we review, but again, not a sustainable business model.

Well, how about crowdfunding? This is an exciting new field and is being used successfully by a number of creators.  There's one real downside to crowdfunding - most crowdfunding sites are project-based. This is terrific when you're working on a book, or a movie, or an art exhibit, but when the premiums are shipped and the book is done, it's back to the drawing board. A few creators have used the established systems to try and raise money to support themselves while they do their work, but these campaigns have not been successful - and they raise the ire of other creators and potential patrons for not being centered around a specific project.

Over the years at Okazu, I've done a few game theory-inspired forms of engagement-raising. People sponsoring reviews, for instance, receive a badge to show their level of support, and they are listed on the Home Page under our Hero Roll. When I rolled out the Hero badges program, it took off so quickly that we had to hustle to find items to put on the blog Wish Lists. This campaign allowed engaged readers to be more involved than just read. We also provide special badges to people who send in news items for our weekly news roundup. 

The blog was less like a single project, however, and more like a magazine, with 3-5 review articles and one news report posted per week. Content is constantly renewed and we have special features like Interviews, Event News and Reports, Historical analysis and Opinion pieces. Would people subscribe to a blog as they did to a magazine?

Enter Patreon. "Patreon enables fans to give ongoing support to their favorite creators." Readers become patrons through a subscription-like model, paid monthly. Creators can look at their work as an on-going project, with goals to attain, as well as rewards to provide patrons. And so, I launched the Okazu Campaign on Patreon.

 For rewards, I went with what worked - we offered the Hero and Superhero levels we'd already been using and added a new level for the campaign. Long time readers who have been able to enjoy the content for more than a decade could pledge whatever they could to help the blog grow.

The readership of my blog will never be in the millions. But my highly engaged readers - the readers that make up the Okazu family - jumped at the chance to support the blog.

Patreon's system is simple to use. It's easy to communicate with patrons, upload videos, provide updates and new content on a regular basis. Payment is monthly, minus reasonable fees. More importantly, your patrons aren't supporting a work, they support the work of creating content.

Patreon might be the sustainable business model we've all been waiting for. Here's to another 12 years.

Speaking Socially About Social Media

We've all seen those articles - 5 Tips to Pump up Your Social Media (heck, we've written those articles.)

We know what we need to do.

Well, we know what you should do to make your social media stronger, better, faster. So why is our own social media so lackluster?

Let's have a social chat about Social Media. Just you and me.  Because when we, you and I, have a chat, that is the core of social intercourse. And that is exactly what is missing from all those tips articles...social intercourse. It's the difference between being the MBA in the meeting room and the person behind the counter in the store. If I'm talking to you about Social Media and you're talking to me about the day-to-day realities of your schedule and energy, we're not having a conversation.

It's great that there's so much information out there about Social Media. New tools pop up every day and old tools change. What was the wild west five years ago, now has  End User Licensing Agreement three pages long. So before you and I sit down and talk about how to take your social media to the next level, let's make sure we're both talking about the same thing - you, your business and how you can delight and engage your customers.

So next time you click on an article about social media, check to see if it's talking about social media in a general sense, or really talking about you. The difference between the theoretical and personal is the difference between a successful social strategy and an expensive consultant whose plan you never use.

Doing Less - How to Unlock Amazing Customer Service

Can doing less satisfy customers more?

There have been many studies about how small rewards create less pressure and instill more creativity and receptiveness. The Candle Problem is the one I refer to the most. But for today, as I so often do, I'll resort to parable to answer this question.

 Parable 1: On my other blog, which deals with an extremely narrow niche of a niche, I created the "Hero program," in which people who buy an item off my Wish List for me to review get the least of all possible rewards - a jpeg image of a badge. This program took off so quickly that there are times I'm often pressed to keep items on my list...and I had to create a premium tier for people who wouldn't stop giving me things! The point here wasn't that I was giving them meaningful physical rewards, but that I was giving them recognition. I'll come back to that in a moment.

Parable 2: I recently called up an airline to request an upgrade for my upcoming trip. I am flying with my wife and while I have barely-elite status, she has none. The CSR said, "You'll be upgraded first, then she will, if there's room." I replied, very slowly and calmly, "But you're going to do *everything* in your power to make sure we both get upgraded, right?" And I kept on her until she actually said those words back to me.

Which brings me to my actual point.

Customer Service has two key components:

  What you do for people

and

  How you do it

What you give people is the actual reward. Whether it is a little gesture of thanks, or a new car, the reward itself is only as important as the feeling of "seriously, we appreciate you" that the customer gets from it.

Truly frequent fliers probably don't notice anymore when they get upgraded...they expect it, demand it, feel that they've earned it. It's their due, not a gesture of appreciation for their business. 

How you do a thing is 99% of the impact of excellent Customer Service. Is what you're giving a true expression of gratitude for the customer's business and support? Or is your loyalty program instead of a true expression of gratitude?

My Heroes know that I appreciate them...from the bottom of my heart. The badge is worthless, my sincere and heartfelt appreciation is priceless. And they know that. In Parable 2, had the CSR said those words - even if she was lying - to me the first time, I would have felt much more appreciated than when she responded with "Well,I don't know...there's not much I can do."

When I call a business that I've supported for years and say, hey, can I get a coupon or something, the wrong response is "Well, we don't have anything like that." The right response is to offer something, anything. "Of course, ma'am! If you come in today, we'll give you...." It absolutely doesn't matter how small the thing is, it's not the the thing I care about. It's the way the thing is presented. What I'm actually asking for is that you recognize and appreciate me and my business.
So, if an airline says, "We see that you've flown with us three times this month and we just wanted to say 'thanks,' so here's a free drink coupon for you." It's worth, what, $6? But it would make me feel good. Like someone noticed me. I feel that my contribution is recognized.

 Providing customers with a pleasant feeling of recognition for their business is the very least thing and the most effective thing you can and should do for good customer service.

Landing Pages, The Herpes of Social Media

You click on a link that interests you; an article or a whitepaper that seems interesting. As your eyes cross the title, the page blurs and your line of sight is obstructed. All you need to do to read this article is SUBSCRIBE TO OUR NEWSLETTER! or give us all your contact info and we'll email you the whitepaper.What is this madness? Give up your name, email, address and phone number just to read an article? Click it away and seconds later it's back like a virus. SUBSCRIBE NOW!

You have encountered the herpes of Social Media - the Landing Page.

It is absolutely true that Landing Pages increase conversion. It is also true that they help qualify leads. They also annoy most of the people who will ever come across your site and drive them away instantly. "I like you, but you should know...I have a landing page."

Landing pages are pernicious. They break visitor concentration, they refocus their interest from content (or product or service) to the ugly business of buying and selling. How serious are you about getting subscribers? So serious that you will interrupt your own message to bring your reader this important message about you.

It's perfectly fine to ask for someone's phone number, but usually we do it after we've talked a bit. Landing Pages may be great for your business, but they are even better for letting people know you have no time or interest in anyone who isn't doing something for you.

Everybody's Talking At You: 3 Really Important Things You Still Don't Get About Social Media

The last few weeks have been a roller-coaster ride in the Social Media world. People who should know better misusing their public platforms to say unfortunate things, people using traditional media arguing about the wrong parts of the problem and the great piranha tank of social media weighing in with opinions without context.

There was a lot of misunderstanding on all sides and everyone was wrong. And in the mix of screaming and screaming about screaming, everyone missed the three lessons everyone who works with Social Media needs to know.

Lesson 1:

You Cannot Control the Message

In the closed world of the conference room, you might make an off-color joke about the mail guy. Depending on your level of power, people might pretend it was funny. If you have less power, someone might look at you and say, "that was uncool." You then backtrack, claim it was a joke. But the mailroom guy is not likely to hear about it, whatever happens.

In Social Media, even with locked accounts, you are speaking to an open room. Once out there, a screencapped image can live on forever. Forget claiming an account was hacked or that it was a joke...the evidence of your inside voice can and will get to the mailroom guy....good luck getting your mail forever.

Being tone deaf to the AIDS crisis or Middle East uprisings will not make you look clever, it will not get laughs, except those "Hah-Hah!"s that accompany pointing fingers as you go down in flames. Political and social crises are not acceptable vehicles upon which to piggyback your marketing messages.

If you wouldn't want 7 billion people seeing, talking about or retweeting it - don't say it.


Lesson 2:

Everything You Say on Social Media is Relevant

The person you hire to spread your messaging is You. The message they spread is You. The name that is used in those messages is You. It is not Social Media's fault if you won't admit that yours is not the most popular company.

When a person states in their profile that they are your PR person, they will speak about your corporate culture 24/7. If they post dismissive, rude comments at 3AM on Saturday after a night out, it will still reflect on you.

There is no "time-off" for your company. No kicking back, taking the shoes off. Everything ever said by you, about you or for you reflects on you.


Lesson 3:

Social Media is Not An Advertisement

In a discussion with an agency recently, we commiserated over the case of the client with a missing clue. They want to get straight sales conversion from a Social Media profile but they don't want to do actual sales tactics. Apparently, the client believes that merely liking their page - and never hearing from them again - should magically convert into higher profit.

Advertising works because it saturates a space. Social Media works because it doesn't saturate a space, it targets very specific, very precise areas. Social Media is the way we communicate with people in small, deep pockets of the Internet, not broad swaths of it. If you're looking to work the advertising funnel model of conversion, do not go with Social Media.

You get to choose one way to communicate: You can talk to everyone through advertising or You can talk to a few people through Social.

Both can create value for your brand and your bottom line...but you have to choose each one for itself, mixing them up doesn't really work.

Learn these three lessons about Social Media and you'll never be embarrassed again.

Why People Unfollow/Unfriend/Disconnect Your Business and How to Re-Engage

When you're a small or medium business owner, there is both power and prestige in having a strong Social Media following. And it can hurt your bottom line if there's a mass exodus of those followers. There are any number of reasons why people stop following your business, and today we'll look at ehy people follow your business in the first place - and what keeps them engaged or drives them away.

Why People Like, Follow or Connect With Your Business

1) Immediate Need - the customer is looking for a product or service something your business offers.

2) Advocacy - The consumer could be a repeat customer looking to a) support a business they like or b) to get coupons/discounts for products or services they have enjoyed in the past and wish to get again.

3) Non-Business Loyalty - A friend owns, works for, or has some other allegiance to the business and the consumer is showing to public support.

Having gotten consumer interest in the first place, why do so few Businesses retain their interest? It's relatively easy to get someone to "Like" a page, and it is even easier to lose followers with a single misstep.

Why People Unlike, Unfollow or Disconnect With Your Business

Let's start with Non-business related Loyalty first. If a person's reason for following a business has no relation to the business itself, then their reasons for unfollowing/friending them are likely to to be the same. The friend has moved on, or gained enough traction, or they had a falling out.  Supporting their business is just not a high priority anymore. This is a problem mostly for extremely local-focus businesses, which rely heavily on word of mouth.

How to Re-engage: Turn your friends into valued customers and gain real loyalty for your business by reaching out with meaningful connection related to your business.

When Advocacy lapses, it is important to recognize interests and needs change over time. The company may no longer be relevant to me.  There's very little that can be done about this loss, except to be gracious and express a hope for future reconnection.

It's important to acknowledge that you company may have alienated the customer in some way with bad customer service or uncompetitive pricing, or poor product or services.  Consumers may become tired of self-promotion, poor response rate or dislike the fact that no one is curating the social accounts. At this level, there are *so* many reason a person might unfollow.


How to Re-engage: An advocate is almost always going to be a customer who wants relevant, authentic contact and content. Many companies seriously drop the ball with their customers at this level. Instead of thinking about what customers can do for you, consider how your business can make a difference for customers. Talk with them, as opposed to advertising at them, invite good customers and loyal customers to special events, offer "tell a friend deals." Invest time in your relationships and in your Social Media.

If the reason a person followed you was Immediate Need, thhey no longer need to be in contact with your company. Not every unfollow is a personal insult.

How to Re-engage: If you've done your job and created truly Social interaction, they'll be back when they need you. Acknowledge the Tare and move on, working with those people who want to stay connected.

Losing followers is inevitable. The best thing to do is make the trail back to you appealing and open. Build bridges, don't burn them and you'll find your following growing naturally.

You're Not the Pied Piper, Part 2: "One Too Many"

In Follow Me! Follow Me!, we discussed companies that ask you to follow them on Facebook, Twitter, Google+, sign up for their newsletter...all so they can give you the same press release in 5 fabulous formats!

Today, we're going to look at other side of this bad social media practice - the "One Too Many" syndrome.

Company A offers a reward: Like them on Facebook! (Okay, no prob!) Then follow them on Twitter. (Um, okay...) Now, tweet this canned response with a hashtag! (All right...) Now, take the code you receive as a DM to their website to get your reward! (Too late, I've moved on.)

Company B offers a contest: Like Us on Twitter, Facebook, Google+, then scan this QR code, go to that website and register, to be entered into this contest for a free something worth about $10!

It's a classic case of "one too many."

Followers should have to do one thing. Either they scan in the QR code or they give a FB like or Twitter follow. Then give them the reward. Customers are not toddlers, they are not dogs. Ask them to do too much, they'll wander off, bored.

Every additional step a company requires from consumers, leeches their interest in whatever contest, or junky reward. No, they will not scan a QR code, then like your FB page to get...what? A few bucks off? A free soda when they spend $50?  A free sticker? The "reward" is rarely worth the time and effort

Consumers are not following your company to bump up your numbers. They expect value from you.

Exclusives, special deals and good content will bring in loyal followers. And loyal customers is what you want, not people who sign up for contests.

How to Leave A Social Platform: The Dos and Dont’s of Saying “Goodbye”

It’s easy enough to join a new social platform. Fill out the registration form — or just sign in through another platform, such as Twitter or Facebook. Perhaps click a verification link in an email. Maybe a friend introduces you, shows you around. That first date is easy. It feels comfortable to spend time together.

You’re enjoy your time with this new platform. You’ve developed a new peer group, you share good times — you laugh at new in-jokes. It’s all fun for a while…but eventually the thrill is gone and feels more like a chore to check in.

You can’t help it — you feel like the platform let you down. You were such good friends, but now this friend is still complaining about the same stuff, full of the same questions over and over and it’s annoying you. You stop coming by so often — and when you do, it’s often to tell folks how much less often you’ll be dropping in.

You wake up one day and think — “I’m done here. It’s time to move on.” But…how does one go about leaving a social platform? It’s easy to join, shouldn’t it be easy to leave too?

It should be — but it isn’t. A community is more than just a place to chat with other people. When you joined, you only had yourself to answer to. When you leave, it’s going to affect others.If you’ve been granted any cognitive authority, your absence will create ripples. If you have real authority on the platform, those ripples will be bigger. Either way, the ripples will subside, but for a while it’ll be hard on you and on the community.

What to Do When You Are Leaving A Platform
Take a Break — As you would with any relationship, you’ve been spending a lot of time together with your new platform. Being attached at the hips takes a lot of work and it cuts you off from other relationships. After a while, you might just need some time off . Separate yourself from the drama for perspective. Take yourself offline for a bit, quietly, and see if you miss the community. If find yourself saving items to share or stories to tell to your community — come back. You don’t need to apologize to the community, we’re all human.

Update Your Profile — If you intend on leaving your account active, write a note on your profile with links where you can be found while you’re away. People who want to will be able to find you. You might be surprised how much of your community follows along.

Let People You Care About Know You’re Leaving — You’ve made real friends and your absence will be noted. Do you have a blog, a forum, a thread or a group? If there are any warrens on the site (or offsite, but related such “Platform Users” group on a different platform) where people expect you to be, value your contribution or desire your company, let folks know where your contributions will be (if that is of interest) or where they can find you (if you want them to be able to do so.) Knowing who your real friends are makes any kind of breakup easier.

What Not To Do When Leaving A Platform
Come Back Repeatedly To See If Anyone Noticed — This is called a “Flounce.” Flounces are commonly enacted by people who never really quite fit in in the first place. When you walk out the door of a community, there is nothing at all that will kill your credibility faster than looking over your shoulder to see if anyone is watching you. “I’m really leaving this time!”

Complain About How Things Have Changed — Yes, things change. Old users get worn out or just move on, some new users don’t get the Sitegeist (the general culture and etiquette of a site. ) You change, too — the topic/format just doesn't interest you any more. It’s perfectly natural that your relationship with the platform will change and it’s really okay for you to simply move on.

How to Leave a Social Platform
Leave — Walk away. Say your goodbyes, delete your account, move on with your life. Maintain your dignity.

That platform will move on as well and, after a short period of grieving, you’ll remember the good times, you’ll grow from the experience and you’ll find a new relationship.

How It All Went Wrong, A Social Media Love Story

You used to come home and find her so sexy, waiting by the door, her seductress self available for your every whim. Now, you find her to be work. Your experience on Social isn't giving you the same thrill it previously did. What changed?

Do you remember what she wore the first day you joined? She was gloriously nude, a blank page to be written on, then read. She took a little effort, needed a little pursuing, but it was worth it. Part of what made Social so exciting was the thrill of the chase - the hunt for followers and re-posts. Teasing her until she gave up those important things to you was a total rush.

She knows your likes and dislikes now, and anticipates your needs, brings you comfortable topics and people...but the thrill is gone. What changed? 

You changed. 

You're not trying any more. You're tired when you check your feed, disengaged when you read statuses. Your posts are memes and jokes. You're muting people - you don't listen to Social anymore. 

You're bored with Social and are treating her badly. She's as interesting as ever to those of us who spend a little time paying attention to and taking care of her.

Social is not a thrill ride, she's not a hussy, here for a roll in the hay, so long, see ya. Social is a fine lady with a salon full of fascinating people and objet, worth every moment you spend to cultivate her company. Don't blame her if you're not fun anymore. 

Originally posted on Quora

How to Handle The Mundane in Online Community's Customer Support

You've got your Online Community up and running and it's going well...until the complaints start pouring in. You've got FAQs up for how to get login assistance and what to do if a password won't work..but what on earth are you supposed to do when two people just don'e seem to get along? Or how do you handle complaints that a poster's question aren't getting answers...or that someone else is being mean to them?

As anyone who has worked in customer support can tell you - the bulk of customer support is telling people answers to questions that have clear answers already written and functioning as playground supervisors.

So how do you handle the mundane in online community customer support?

First, craft rules that state plainly and simply what types of conflicts the site administration is willing to become involved in. These will have to take into account the ages of the user base, the purpose for which the site was created and miscellany abuses of the system that can occur.

Secondly, give your admins tools to make and enforce rulings, and support for those decisions. When someone on the frontline identifies an abusive personality, telling them they "have to work around them, because they are a sponsor" is the worst possible thing for the community.

Thirdly, provide a clear and concise method for complaints. "If someone is abusing/offending you on our site, do this:"  Then follow up. Quickly. Don't dither. Investigate the claims, make a decision, communicate it. Make sure that admins are audited themselves, so their bad decisions don't ruin the site. (This has happened at many of the communities I've been part of.)

Give users block/ignore/mute tools to users so they can control what and who they see. (I don't know why sites so often forget this. When a person is a troll, but a user can still see their comments, it's like a continuing slap to the face.)

Actually investigate issues. Don't write them off as "mundane complaints." It's annoying, yes, and you feel like a kindergarten teacher, yes. That's site adminning and moderation. If you have something else that needs your time, hire an admin to do the dirty work. Make the process transparent. There may well be a very irksome person serially taunting and just being a jerk. Get rid of them....quickly.  Because:

Make unpopular decisions. Be the grown-up. "You - you - to opposite corners!" It's annoying, but what on earth do you think humans are? ^_^ We're annoying. If a teacher doesn't make the bad kid leave the room, it will ruin playtime for all the other kids,

With every new wave of subscribers, you'll need to circle to the top of the list. You can never be perfect, or be everything to everyone, but with clear guidelines, and support tools, you'll be able to handle things more consistently than if you just toss your moderation out to the wolves with "block" and no rules. 

Attack of the Serial Commenters (How to Manage Fans Who Don't *Get* The Rules)

Comments, likes, upvotes, shares - these are all signs that someone is engaged with your community. You use these marks of engagement to measure how well you are connecting with your audience and which members are converting their loyalty or interest into action.

So when you notice that a member of your community always comments on every post, it doesn't seem like it's a problem. Comments are *good*. Then you notice that this person comments on everything whether they have something to say or not. You're reluctant to tell them to stop, because People Talking About This is good, right? You can always pull the conversation back on track if it starts to slide or correct mistakes. This is your job as community manager.

Then one day, you notice that more than 15 minutes of your day is spent managing this one person. They've hijacked so many conversations you start to doubt that anything they've posted has value. And you start to doubt your own ability to manage your community - after all this person is a *fan.* So what if they keep mentioning this other site, or get annoyed with you for correcting them? And why do they annoy you so much anyway?

You have just met the Serial Commenter.

Serial Commenters come in several forms:

New fans who discover your community and spend the next week reading, liking/voting and commenting on everything you've posted for the last month, or in a particular topic.

Old fans who believe that "LOL" is a valuable comment on every single post.

Time-outs who seek to cull favor by adding content, whether or not it is relevant, helpful or legal. These often become the hardest to deal with, those people who simply Need to Stop Posting for a bit, but won't.

Serial Commenters are extremely difficult to deal with. They are often highly, deeply and passionately engaged, but cannot manage to play by the rules. They never take kindly to being gently warned. And more often than not, they have no self-awareness of what you mean when you ask them to stop.

So how do you deal with a Serial Commenter?

First, Time-Out: This is an incredibly important step. Give yourself a Time Out. Take a few days to decide if the comments are harmless, if they might add value to someone who isn't you, or if they stimulate productive conversation in the comments. If any of these are true, bite your lip and ignore whatever it is that rubs you the wrong way. They may simply be new and excited. Give them time to calm down. This person is not a problem.

Second, Etiquette Reminder: Some people are not used to community rules. They may have been hanging out somewhere with less rules, or simply never been socialized. Do your best to surface unwritten rules somewhere. Write down in plain words what you expect of community members. I keep my rules relatively simple, but my expectations high.

Do not be coy, if a Serial Commenter is breaking an unwritten rule, write it out. Some people are not subtle. Don't be rude, but be blunt.

Third, Warning: By the time you have gotten to this stage, you should have already given all the gentle guidance you have to give. At this point you are merely handing the SC rope with with they can hang themselves.  Warnings should be simple. If you choose to enforce a Time-Out for your SC, state the time period, expectations upon their return and the factors you will weigh against them.

Fourth and Final, Escort Them Out the Door: At this point, you have decided that their absence will free the community up. No one need talk around them, explain things to them or help them with a seemingly un-ending list of confusions and problems. Time and energy can be spent on fun things again.

Do not second guess yourself.  Whether it is your personal or professional community you have every right to control it. As we all must sometimes remember, every site/platform/network online is owned by *somebody.* It is a privilege, not a right to post on these. Sometimes we must remind someone of this.

Serial Commenters are not always a problem, but be ready for those that become one with a fair, actionable plan. You owe it to your community.

Wibbly-wobbly, Returny-wurny | Lessons on Social Media from Doctor Who

In 1963 a children's show was created in the UK. It was meant to be an educational show, a show that would transport its audience through time to the past to witness the Aztecs or Ancient Rome. It was marginally successful until someone decided that while the characters were traveling through Time, they could also be travelling through Space. The show, Doctor Who, celebrates its 50th anniversary this year and is more popular than ever. But it wasn't a smooth ride at all.

For the first years of its life, the show was popular with children (and their adults) as a sci-fi show, with evil baddies, ambiguous morality lessons and a charismatic, mercurial lead, The Doctor. In the 1980s the BBC leadership was absolutely dedicated to killing the show, but fan pressure - now global through Public Television support for the show in America and Australia - brought it back from the grave, for a while, until the show was once again cancelled after the 7th Doctor played his last spoon....

...Only Doctor Who didn't die. Bizarrely, it was picked up by an American television network, which of course focused on all the wrong things, and annoyed the British fans no end ("The American Movie" is how the 8th Doctor's tenure is known among fans.) But it did something unheard of. 40 years old and the show hadn't died. Like a Monty Python character, it kept reassuring us "It wasn't dead yet." And fandom hadn't moved on. With a body of episodes in the hundreds, still showing on Public TV, then reluctantly released by the BBC on VHS, the DVD, fandom wasn't dead.

And neither was the show. In 2005 the famous blue box known as the TARDIS landed once again in the UK and it was alive, again. The "new" Doctor Who, which picked up with the 9th Doctor and has now made it to the 11th is more popular, more global  - and more financially lucrative than ever before.

So, what are the lessons we can learn from this story?

Return on Time - Perseverance isn't overrated

In the days before Venture Capital and Y Combinator, sometimes all you had to rely on was Time. Having a good idea five years too early can gut a company. But Apple proves the point - when a good idea takes time, perseverance, passion and a soupcon of delusional belief that you're right, playing the long game can lead to success.

Return on Investment - Throwing money at the problem works too

When the BBC demanded better ratings for the 7th Doctor, and they were competing with Star Trek: Next Generation for share of the TV Sci-fi watching audience, the creators of Doctor Who were in a bind. They scraped up more money and put on the most sophisticated show their budget would allow. In comparison with earlier seasons it was fantastic (despite that, the BBC was grumpy again, and they killed it anyway.) In 2005, the showrunners pulled out the stops and the re-launch of this iconic show was as good as anything else on TV. No plywood hallways, no two-set shows. Doctor Who was a big kid now. When you've strained to the edge of what you can do with Time, Investment pushes you to the next  level.

Return on Social is Wibbly-wobbly, Returny-wurny

The 10th Doctor famously stated, "Time is wibbly-wobbly timey-wimey." If there is a single lesson we can grok from The Doctor and his travels through our airspace and time, it's that Return on Social isn't a matter of simple eyeball formulas or likes or shares. In the days before the Internet, Doctor Who fandom created fanzines, wrote fiction, gathered together with friends on Saturday night to watch the show on Public Television, went to conventions to meet the actors. It has always been a social product. DW fandom were early adapters of online technology, expanding their contacts in fandom globally. When the new show launched, fandom was all ready for it. The network was built, ready and waiting. Virality wasn't an accident, it was 40 years in the making. And that is why the new show is popular. BBC and BBC America have made it more accessible, but the Internet does the rest.

Return on Social means a little push here, a nudge there, circle back and start again. When the formula doesn't work exactly as planned, passion and engagement can carry the project along. Superb execution pushes the boundaries and then back to the beginning yet again. Social is wibbly-wobbly, but if Doctor Who teaches us anything, it's that it can absolutely be returny-wurny.

The 4 Pillars of A Healthy Online Community

Whether we're reaching out to a specialized subject community or to a broad social network, we're looking to our contacts online for information, suggestion and recommendation all the time.

More of our lives is spent online in the communities we join and build, and more of our time is spent handling the issues that arise in these spaces. Communities exist on investing sites, shopping sites, health sites and entertainment sites. There is hardly anywhere online one can go where a community is not at least part of the equation.

The question then is - how do we build healthy online communities?


Defining Community vs Network

For the purposes of this article, I want to define how I am using the word "community" vs. "network." 

A "network" in this context is the web of contacts, acquaintances, friends and colleagues we acquire over time. These may be circumstantial - professional colleagues, coworkers, etc.;  or social - friends, relatives, acquaintances. Networks may be organic and/or intentional.

Communities are, for the purposes of this article, always intentional. A professional community may be an association, a personal community may be a group focused on a hobby or interest. Networks can grow without our specific intent to do so (a friend introducing us to another friend for example) but we seek out community with intention.

Groups on Facebook, subReddits, hashtags on Twitter and other smaller pockets of interest on larger platforms can function as communities, as well as focused lists, forums, sites and even whole social networks.

Online Communities are, therefore, groups of people we intentionally seek out in order to...what? 

People seek out community to gain/share/impart information.

The guy who tells you about this lunch on Twitter - he's imparting information. Not very relevant or targeted information, admittedly, but hey, there may be someone out there who cares that Taco Tuesday at the Taco Stand is outstanding. It might be noise to you, but it's signal to the guy who shared it.

So when we seek out community, we have the intention of finding folks who will share info that is more signal than noise - i.e., stuff we care about. This may be information of relevance to us professionally or personally, but the point is, we look for a "community" where this kind of information will be shared.  

When we join a community, we are all initially consumers of information. We might read FAQs, ask a few folks for their thoughts, read what is being said. We join to gain information.  We join as "consumers" of information. Over time, some people find themselves with the right experience or temperament to share or impart information. These people contribute information. (Contribution is sometimes rewarded with badges of achievement or rank.) Generally speaking, even new people can see that there is an upper class of users. These may be called senior members, power users (or the star-chamber cabal, depending on the level of resentment harbored by non-power users) and they will have both cognitive authority and be the object of resentment on even a healthy community.

Building a Healthy Community

Every community want to be a healthy community. Like our own bodies, there's a certain amount of health one can establish as a solid base on which to build. For a community, these include good moderation, inclusive policies, scalable architecture and a soupcon of humor when dealing with other humans. I.e., the hardware, the software and the humanware should be as flexible and scalable as possible.

On this base are Four Pillars that support the Community.

       Contributor                                             Contributor

Top-Down Communication	Peer Communication
Peer Communication	Bottom-Up Communication

        Consumer                                              Consumer

Consumers come into a community with a desire to know, learn or share.

Let's create a fictitious community called Labville, where high school students can discuss scientific experiments with other students and get prompts from older students and teachers.

Adam joins Labville first as a Consumer. He reads posts by Barb and Charlie, both students who have done the same experiment he's working on now. Adam asks a few questions, but mostly reads. He is a consumer involved in Bottom-up Communication. Once he's learned that Daniella is doing the same experiments and has similar ideas as he does, he starts to talk to her as a peer. Adam and Daniella are joined in their "Experiment Y" discussion by Eugene and Frieda. A peer group is forming between them and they generally don't reach outside of it unless they need help from Barb and Charlie. The groups now engages regularly in Peer-to-Peer Communication.

George arrives and he's...a problem. For whatever reason, he's taken a disliking to Adam and snipes constantly at his work. Whether Adam asks a question, replies to someone else  - and even though he generally avoids conversations where George is active - George goes out of his way to be rude to and about Adam.

Barb and Charlie, as Contributors, will try to hold the conversations on topic and maybe Harriet, a Labville Moderator, will step in.

These Contributors will shape the conversation through Top-Down Communication.  Because Labville is not a hobbyist community, but is focused around asymmetric relationships (people who know and people who want to know) Contributors contribute by answering questions, positing thought-provoking questions of their own and guiding and focusing conversation. Top-Down Communication serves to keep conversation moving forward, or restarts it after it stalls. One of the goals of Top-Down is to inspire Peer-to-Peer Conversation among Consumers by helping them over humps in their learning

George has been behaving, but after a few months, he's started up again. Barb and Charlie have both moved on as Contributors (as a natural part of the Community Lifecycle,) but Ike and Justine are now very active Contributors. As Moderator, Harriet needs a private place to warn them about George and ask them to let her know if there are issues. The Contributors need a space for Peer-to-Peer Communication of their own, to foster best community practices, share critical operating information, training materials and provide a space for them to discuss the Consumers who might serve the community well as Contributors or even Moderators.

Peer-to-Peer Communication at both Consumer and Contributor levels fosters teamwork (and cliques.) Top-Down Communication provides a steady hand at the rudder and Bottom-Up Communication means there's opportunities for Consumers to learn and grow in the community.

These four pillars, standing on a foundation of good community practices, will be stable enough and strong enough to support a healthy, sustainable community for a long lifecycle.

The Truth About Internet Trolls

There is a very real misunderstanding of the nature of Internet Trolls and, as a result, there is a incorrect belief about the way to "deal" with them.

Here is the fundamental flaw.

People think this is what Trolls look like:

Angry person online, fundamentally outraged by your words - possibly your very existence. 

Trolls give you that impression because they make very personal insults, they comment on your appearance or something you may or may not have said. As a a result you think trolls are about you.

And then you think, surely, this guy can be reasoned with. Yes, he's angry, but he is an adult, he can see the value in other perspectives. So you engage, thinking consensus is possible.

In reality, trolls are this:

Trolls have no idea what "skullfuck" means, it doesn't have to mean anything - it sounds nasty. They don't have any interest in reasoned dialogue - they haven't read your post/article/answer. It's for the lulz and the win - if they can silence you, they win the Internet. It's something to pass the time..

I'm not being ageist here - trolls are often actual teenagers, trying to be adults in a very childish way, they are also adults being childish, but they have one thing in common - trolls all treat harassment as a game. A game they can't lose, because there is no one to catch them, there's no punishment if they are caught. It's for fun. If you get angry, they win. If you react at all, they win. If you have to set up new rules for comments, they win. Block their IP, they'll change it - and they win.

So how can you win? Remember "sticks and stones"? Yeah, that.

Since the goal of the game is to silence you, all you need to do is ignore them and go about your business. Leave their comments hanging out there, ignorant and hateful as they are, unanswered. They will expose themselves trying to get you to react. All you need to do is...nothing. If they escalate - you win. If they take it to multiple spaces online - you win. The more they scream and rant and waste time thinking about you, and the less time you think about them - the more you win. Your toolkit is Report, Ignore, Block, Delete, Mute, depending on the site/platform you're on. Use all of the tools, but use Ignore the most.

Have pity for the trolls who spend hours of their day obsessing over you while you read books, go out with friends and have a life. Because the more you win, the more they lose.